0. don't give up

never give up. ever. you will fall in love. you will fall out of love. you're both two imperfect people. give each other grace. love is hard, it's not meant to be easy; don't give up on each other.​

1. know how to lead

make plans, plan dates, be decisive, keep her surprised,

keep the relationship excited consistently

2. hold space for her

make space for her emotions without getting defensive, don't let her feelings trigger my ego. i'm there to listen and feel her feelings with her, not to judge, comment, or fix.

3. communicate my emotions too

i will be vulnerable too, i willl open my heart too. i will tell myself she's the one person that should be allowed in. i will tell myself "it's okay. i promise, it's okay." i have to show up too.

4. protect her. always.

protect her emotionally. spiritually. physically. even when she's not in the room. behind her back. in front of others. behind others. only speak positive of her, because she's your forever.

she never should feel like she needs to compete for my respect.

5. seen.

make her feel safe and seen. not for what she does but for who she is. not when its easy, but when its hard. not when she's happy, but when she's tired.

6. if you don't, she will.

do it. get up. do it. clean. pick it up. cook. make the matcha. do all the chores. if i don't it, someone will. there's no other someone besides her. so, do it. get up.

7. what about her?

when you go out, what will she do? think about her always. when you're not with her, what will she be doing, let her know you're always on her mind. reassure her. let her know she's safe an loved even when you're not with her, even when you're with others.

8. love her loudly

show off your love for her! tell the world, post on instagram. make a tiktok and post everyday how much you love her. loving her is something to be proud of. she's a gem.

9. make those notes

your love for her will set the model of your love for your children.

make those little love notes everyday if you are packing her lunch.

send her out the door with an ily text everyday. remind her why you love her every single day.

10. the mundane

relationships can get dry from the mundane of life, the day to the day, the routine- the same days. the sparks fade. love doesn't have to fade over time

11. iced water

water by her bedside, water by in the car, water at her work, water when she gyms, water everywhere, and iced water only!!!

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-i'm reading "Eight Dates, Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love" by John Gottman", so these next eight things are directly from them, great book by the way!-

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12. date night. - date #1

date night is a permanent part of a relationship, a dedicated time for love and connection- once a week. this will be a priority. no phones, no work, no distractions. no kids, no family. just you. and me. us. just like a first date again. every week. no matter how busy- whether its in the morning, or its the the evening. it is planned and prioritized. the main idea behind this is to build a strong foundation to foster open dialogue- a space where we can and will talk, a space of trust, a space of commitment. a space for you and me. always, no matter what. ❤️

13. conflict. - date #2

conflict is normal and we should learn what triggers each other in arguments- and why. what we need from each other to feel heard and understood- how conflict can make us grow closer. it's an opportunity for me to learn more about you.

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14. assurance

never have her doubt how i feel about her. i will let her know how much i love her everyday- with words, with actions, with commitment, with my love. she will never have to worry or question my love for her.

15. security

be sure she feels safe- physically and emotionally; i'll talk to her and find time and room in my heart to listen to her- she is safe with me; no matter what she did, no matter who she is, no matter what, she is safe with me

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there's a million things i want to add to this list.

but my invisible best friend, it's time i stop dancing.

know that you deserve the world, my dearest.