my dearest

hello my dearest,

it's been awhile crocodile.

i've been playing volleyball, and all these sports and thinking about you a lot- thinking about how much better you are than me at them naturally. honestly thinking how athletic our kids would be- then i pinch myself back to reality. i've even been playing golf, and i can't lie- i dream of the days of playing with your parents, seeing your eyes glow when you look at your mom when your mom admires your dad as he shares about history. and again, i pinch myself.

i'm writing here, because after talking with thai, i realized, it's okay.

it's okay for me to miss you.

because i do- so very much.

i too am impatient, want to rush things, skip the hard parts, but you- but you- nah but you- its okay. I'll take my time to move on. it's okay to miss you right now, and i really do.

i never stopped posting.

heres that conversation actually.

https://www.tonyandellen.com/post/9-01-25

i don't know if you're reading

for pity

for comfort

or whatever else

but if you're ever having a bad day,

i welcome you

to remind yourself

that i think you are an amazing and wonderful person

and i wish you could see yourself in my eyes

that i am so very proud of you

that i so believe you deserve the world-

even if i'm not the one giving it to you.

https://www.tonyandellen.com

take care of yourself 🫶🏻