7.15.25 relentless

I wish I could tell you all of these things. I wish I could still talk to you.

I wish I could hear about your day, what upset you, if the apartment is still bullying you, when you're still being overstimulated at work, and more.

Some of my friends don't think I changed. They think this is temporary and I'm not doing this for me. I understand their doubts, and I thank them for their thoughts- but I do this for myself- being the best version of myself, the person you deserve. People may not change overnight, mature fast, but I am different.

Just like that phone call that I made when I was in 7th grade.

My mom used to call every day, then once a week. Week turns into months.

8 months of not hearing from her, I worried. I called the cops.

It was the longest 3 hours I can remember.

I can hear the keys clack and the heavy boots as the officer was walking to me.

He walked slow, talked slow. He got down on one knee.

He said, "Son, I am sorry. We found her, she's in Florida. She's safe-working actually. I don't know how to tell you this, but she just doesn't want to talk to you."

My heart dropped. That day. and the following days, forever changed me.

When you love someone so much, it changes you.

I was young then. I did not know what fighting for love means.

But I do now. I will love you relentless. You deserve someone to love you unconditionally, through storms, through rejection. The world can tell me to stop, you can tell me to stop. But I won't.

I do believe in being a hopeless romantic.

I wish you still do too.