8.24.25 sunday

i can feel my body hurting.

i've been exercising excessively every day lately- and i'm only going to do more. so i been trying to recover better, massage gun, i bought this expensive leg massager, ice baths, lots of ice packs.

at badminton today i realized i don't talk to people anymore. girls or guys. i'm not even on my phone, i'm still social and extroverted- i joined like 3 different badminton groups, but i don't know. i purposely sit in the corner away from everyone.

today one of the girls, named talia, said she hasn't seen me in awhile-i seen her once at pickleball on a Tuesday, i said i guess, iunno, then she sat next to me. she asks if im playing pickle ball on tuesday, i said nope. i rather play badminton. then she said but im playing tuesday, then i said badminton is more fun, but im playing pickleball Thursday. she said she's busy Thursday though. oh wells. later that night she joined for Thursday anyway. I didn't talk to her the rest of the night- but i didn't really want to either.

I don't know, i've lost almost 40lbs now since you last saw me- I'm much slimmer than since you first saw me. ah what does it matter.

i just want to play badminton. aggressively.

i told henry, i actually want to leave these groups, these too many girls, and i can't play competitively. i lost a lot of weight, i run faster, jump higher and play harder now.

sigh. the more girls talk to me, the more i miss you. what a cruel joke. Thai and Tall Peter tells me to date around but honestly i'm not going to listen to other people anymore.

i don't know, but my brain remembers these dates. 25th tomorrow. lol. longer than us, happy for you. your 100th is coming up. i know its a special day for you.

i don't know why my brain makes me cry, but im happy that you're happy. 🫶🏻