7.11.25 confessions

hey.

i remember an instagram post that your mom sent you. love is about even despite who you are, they are still there the next day. i know it doesn't seem like it, but i never left. i never stopped loving you. i always show back up, i always reply, no matter what.

i know i made you feel alone, but i lost my business and identity. i did not want to bring my sorrow to you and i do not know how to process this event. i'm sorry i was not strong enough to endure this storm and still be who you needed me to be.

i love you though, all of you. the good and the bad parts. these books and learning about my trauma, i am starting to understand yours too. i know you are scared. i've seen all of you and i'm still here to love you.

it is not wrong to want to be loved. i am forever sorry for making you feel otherwse. now i understand what your actions mean, and you do belong. i wish i could have told you these things earlier.

i know you don't believe me, but i am ready now. for me, it will always be you. now. later. no matter where i am, who i am with, it will always be you. i'm ready to move in with you and start out lives.

i can't tell you that i am who you want me to be right now. i am learning, reading, and taking this journey to resolve my trauma and explore my childhood. i would love to walk this with you.

i know you hate me, but if you ever feel scared. alone. please think of me.